Anxiety

sitting in a heat so damp I could choke on it

in the dark so the shame of me is blacked out a little bit

what makes it hurt to be me?

hurt so bad?

I feel that spot in my gut where

once upon a time both of my babies sat

it just feels soft and pliable

but there’s something dug way down deep in there

and it’s rooted in so damn tight.

I push the heels of my hands into my eyes until a spark lights them up

it hurts a little and I’m glad for it

if I could reach inside and scoop that piece out like a bruise on a peach

i’d have done it by now

maybe I could sleep at night?

maybe I could be a little less ashamed?

would I be able to breathe in one smooth gulp and laugh because it feels so good?

I fall asleep with my hand

nestled over the bad spot

 

 

 

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